Zozobra 2014

Zozobra 2014, Santa Fe, NM 

it's pretty brilliant, actually. choose someone to accuse of being the source of an entire community's anxieties and problems, and immediately, poof: relief. no need for self-reflection or accountability, just burn a poor mofo at the stake and rejoice. so simple, so clean. too bad for me that i am that chosen one.

whoever came up with the idea is a marketing genius. first, they renamed me: Old Man Gloom, Zozobra- by now, i doubt anyone remembers my real name. then they created an entire celebration out of the burning of me: kettle corn, lemonade, firecrackers, live music, a parade. come one, come all, pack a picnic and bring the entire family out to watch a man go up in flames!

i get it, i see the appeal. life is much simpler with a living, breathing (though soon i'll have neither of these qualities) villain- that's me. people are overwhelmed by their fractured lives, their competing passions and responsibilities. they exist in a constant state of uncertainty, guessing at the "right" decisions, clumsily making plans for the future when no one of us is even guaranteed a future to begin with. add on top of that the daily tragedies that show no sign of ceasing- accidental death, paralysis, an unexpected diagnosis with a timeline- and it's easy to see how the troubles can pile up. in many of these situations, there is no obvious villain, which makes it all even harder to swallow. 

that's where i come in. because even a fictitious reason like me is preferable to the truth: that more often than not, things simply happen, with terrible results. call it what you will- fate, bad timing, natural consequences, some higher being's fucking Plan- but i have nothing to do with any of it. i'm just the guy they picked, the one who never fit in to begin with, and who therefore was an easy sell. pin your troubles on me and send them up in flames.

the crowd has been gathering for hours, the last rays of daylight fleeing the scene. a man in a suit appears and, like a bad actor, melodramatically bellows a list of accusations against me, ending with the predictable outcome: "GUILTY!" he repeats it too many times (hey buddy, less is more). the crowd screams; the people look joyful. beachballs are unleashed above their heads. a woman in glittering red spandex with feathers sprouting out of her head dances on the stairs in front of me as the band resumes their festive beat. from my vantage point, i can see everything: kids on shoulders, couples taking selfies, the vendors, the hooded figures carrying torches making their way towards me, and the infinite darkness beyond them all. 

SOD: J. Cole, "Be Free"

It's been a summer of sorrow for both ABQ and the U.S. that has once again forced us to recognize that residents in this country are not equally safe and protected. Michael Brown's death in Ferguson, MO, has been feeding the news crawl for weeks now, but here in ABQ, public attention has been on violence against homeless individuals. In June, Nancy Myers was killed by a driver who appeared to have aimed his truck straight for her while she was sleeping on the sidewalk at night. Then, in July, two local teens beat to death Allison Gorman and Kee Thompson, two homeless men sleeping in an empty lot, while a third teen stood watch. Both incidents seem to have been unplanned, triggered merely by the sight of people sleeping outside and a twitchy impulse to harm another being. 

Last night, i walked under a bridge near the train station at around 10:40 pm in downtown ABQ. i passed two individuals curled up in sleeping bags on the far side of the street, their heads tucked down out of sight. i believe that people who live on the streets have tremendous internal strength, resiliency, and ability to mobilize resources, but from where i stood, at that hour, they looked soft and vulnerable. It's incomprehensible how someone could make the decision to attack another who posed absolutely zero threat.

Just as it is incomprehensible when police shoot individuals who pose no more threat beyond the color of their skin. Here is today's Song of the Day, J. Cole's "Be Free", written in tribute to Michael Brown.