Meal Plan for Singles

i don't cook. i don't find it fun, relaxing, or creative; i'm annoyed that i have to feed myself so often every day (i'm always hungry). luckily i have a PR who doesn't mind cooking, but he's been gone for a while now, so i've been fending for myself. here's a list of what i've had for dinner recently:

baby carrots + ice cream
hot dogs tucked into a fresh baguette
edamame + beer 
unsalted pretzels + chocolate cupcake + an apple
half a burger (leftover from lunch w/a friend) + baby carrots (i don't like veggies, so i often just throw in some baby carrots to redeem whatever else i'm eating)

OOJ: Cupcake Grin + Bear It

i got a free cupcake today! this is possibly the most expressive cupcake i've ever seen. is it smiling? clenching its jaw? embarrassed? rueful? the world will never know...

language

i've been thinking a lot about words lately. it's kind of a wordy time of year for me- the school year ends tomorrow, which means writing lots of notes to staff and saying goodbye to kids. when it comes to talking to kids, i'm a big believer in saying as little as possible. but at this point when it comes to choosing my last words to them, i find myself struggling to distill everything i want to say to them into a couple sentences, mostly because i don't want to say goodbye.  

i've also been writing intake reports for new clients seemingly non-stop this month, which brings a different challenge: how to document a family's sometimes complicated history in a few sentences while honoring the uniqueness of their story. i know it's just agency paperwork but when i'm writing, i imagine the family members reading along over my shoulder and i wonder how they feel about my version of their history. 

when trying to use words, i most often feel disappointed in their ineffectiveness. words are- no other way to say it- weak sauce. i don't like to talk about my feelings because they sound flat and one-dimensional when i try to put them into words. "i'm sad" could apply to being out of ice cream just as well as describing a sleepless night of grief. customers in san francisco would say "that's perfect!" if i was able to fit all of their purchases into one bag; i'd think- really? perfection = efficient bagging?? primo levi compares the inadequacy of words to "trying to plow with a feather" ("A Tranquil Star"). and it's definitely not just me. i hear people spewing words extravagantly all day long, but really saying nothing much, just filling up space. it's a kind of noise pollution.

and yet, here i am, writing another blog post, contributing to the smog. in front of me lies a blank thank you card, which in turn lies on top of a client's intake form. 

the best use of words i've heard in a long time came from a 5th grader yesterday, when the graduating students gave their one sentence personal statements. many kids mentioned what they were good at or what they were proud of. then a slim girl with shiny hair stepped up to the microphone and said, quietly and deliberately: 

"I am strong and calm in crazy situations." 

OOJ: Beaver Habitat Diorama

beaver standing by the water

the first graders at pajarito elementary published multi-page reports about an animal of their choice and created habitat dioramas. (does anybody else besides me think that elementary school seems a lot harder now then when we were kids?) here's one of my favorites: never mind that this kid's report about polar bears (see bottom picture) somehow morphed into a diorama about a beaver, i just love the detail that went into his creation (notice how the river starts on the left and continues flowing across the entire diorama). and of course, he swears he did it all by himself.

OOJ: The BFG

for those of you who remember my Matilda post from last year- gold star! mr. goss's 5th graders are at it again: this year, it's another roald dahl classic, The BFG. numerous cardboard boxes gave their lives to this impressive creation. though sophie (see shirt pocket) looks slightly possessed, a la chucky.

SOD: Shake It Out, Florence + the Machine

today's song of the day is "Shake It Out" by the mighty Florence Welch + her machine. it's not a new song, but i listened to it again lately and it's been on repeat ever since. the first line: "regrets collect like old friends" keeps cycling through my psyche. i like to think i don't have any regrets about choices i've made, but that line reminds me of how sometimes negative thoughts can become as comfortable + close as old friends, making positive change all that much harder.