not sure if any of you have been paying attention to the Paula Deen kerfuffle lately. she's a Food Network southern food chef who is under investigation for discriminatory practices at her restaurants (a white former employee filed the lawsuit). in her deposition, she openly admitted to using the n-word, and also to planning a plantation-themed wedding for one of her sons, complete with well-dressed black servants (wtf!!?!?!). consequently, she lost her FN contract, in addition to spokeswoman contracts and a book deal w/Random House. of course, her fans rushed to support her. her defenders' comments not only annoyed me, but also reminded me of countless other people i've met in my life who have excused similar comments from their friends and family. i've distilled these excuses into the following list, heard from the mouths of both white people and people of color (but most often white people):
1. they didn't mean it.
2. they don't know any better.
3. that's just how their generation is.
oh, if i only had a dollar. i think we'd all make a lot more progress in our conversations about race if we started out by acknowledging that many people who make racist comments are not evil, just ignorant. these excuses allow us to continue being idiots, as if asking us to change our language and understanding of oppression would be, well, just too much trouble.
i believe people who continue to speak ignorantly demonstrate a refusal to (a) use their imagination/common sense; and (b) seek out ways to educate themselves. yes, imagination- if you are not a person of color, take a moment and imagine how you'd feel if the people you interacted with mocked or treated you as "other", simply based on your physical appearance (this does not even have to involve language; picture someone pulling back the corners of his eyes to make them more "slanty" as you walk by). imagine these occurrences happening not just once, but many times over the years. imagine how you would wish to be treated with respect; imagine how sensitive you might become to other people's language and actions.
and then education: as an asian-american, it is not my job to teach you that it is not ok to call someone "china man" (though i once wasted 10 minutes of my life trying to do exactly this with a white canadian girl; i say "wasted" because i failed to get her to understand why that was offensive). a follow-up NYT article described other chefs' reactions to Paula Deen's words: Nathalie Dupree, a 73-year-old white chef in Charleston, SC, basically said she resented excuses #2 + #3 (see above) because it lumped her in with a group of people who had not made the effort to learn what is offensive to people of color. for me, excuses #2 + #3 hurt the most because i hear the implied meaning as: your feelings are not worth being heard nor validated, and we (the speakers of ignorance) will not change our behavior because you are not worth the effort and thought that would require.
1. they didn't mean it.
2. they don't know any better.
3. that's just how their generation is.
oh, if i only had a dollar. i think we'd all make a lot more progress in our conversations about race if we started out by acknowledging that many people who make racist comments are not evil, just ignorant. these excuses allow us to continue being idiots, as if asking us to change our language and understanding of oppression would be, well, just too much trouble.
i believe people who continue to speak ignorantly demonstrate a refusal to (a) use their imagination/common sense; and (b) seek out ways to educate themselves. yes, imagination- if you are not a person of color, take a moment and imagine how you'd feel if the people you interacted with mocked or treated you as "other", simply based on your physical appearance (this does not even have to involve language; picture someone pulling back the corners of his eyes to make them more "slanty" as you walk by). imagine these occurrences happening not just once, but many times over the years. imagine how you would wish to be treated with respect; imagine how sensitive you might become to other people's language and actions.
and then education: as an asian-american, it is not my job to teach you that it is not ok to call someone "china man" (though i once wasted 10 minutes of my life trying to do exactly this with a white canadian girl; i say "wasted" because i failed to get her to understand why that was offensive). a follow-up NYT article described other chefs' reactions to Paula Deen's words: Nathalie Dupree, a 73-year-old white chef in Charleston, SC, basically said she resented excuses #2 + #3 (see above) because it lumped her in with a group of people who had not made the effort to learn what is offensive to people of color. for me, excuses #2 + #3 hurt the most because i hear the implied meaning as: your feelings are not worth being heard nor validated, and we (the speakers of ignorance) will not change our behavior because you are not worth the effort and thought that would require.
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