We Love You, Ms. Watson

luminarias in honor of Melissa Watson,
teacher, Valle Vista Elementary, ABQ, NM

we entered the school gates bearing the necessities for mourning: kleenex, candles, crock pots, krispy kreme donuts. the sun set and we huddled around a candle-lit heart shape outlined on the ground outside of the fifth grade classrooms. the candle in my hand burned steadily, an outrageously obscene contrast to the hope in my heart that had been so recently extinguished, that was now no more than a thread of smoke drifting towards the sky. most of us stayed quiet, subdued in our shock, though a woman sang "this little light of mine" in an irritatingly forceful, raspy voice that maybe was comforting to her. outside of our cluster, small children hopped, stabbing the gravel with their rubber-clad toes, their spirited, squeaky high voices clashing with our general hush. i felt jealous of how lightly they moved, free of grief's weight; i envied the bliss of their ignorance of our monumental loss- of a compassionate educator, a beloved colleague, a supportive friend, a committed mother.