sick bed

my first week of 2012: 40% work, 60% bed.


i came back to abq after 2 weeks of planes, trains, + couch-surfing and immediately got sick. which means i'm in bed every possible moment that i don't have to be somewhere else. i made a nice little island on my bed- sleeping bag, electric blanket, 4 layers of down comforters (2 blankets folded in half), books (It Chooses You by Miranda July; Healing Mandalas by ?), mags (Elle UK Oct 2010 issue), kleenex, fruit gummies, cell phone (for playing online scrabble). 


"mi yow yow yow, mi yow yow yow yow," i sang into the phone to my PR.


"what is that?" he asked.


"just a song i made up," i said.


"i think you're going loopy," he told me.


when i'm sick in bed, time stops. my head feels full of oatmeal, which doesn't bother me as long as i'm lying down, so i spend a lot of time horizontal. i feel kinda guilty b/c i know it's a luxury to be able to stay in bed for hours, uninterrupted by kids/partners/etc. at the same time, it's weird to know that i can disappear into my bed for the entire weekend and no one will come looking for me. i make a little cave under my many layers, where i stare at the inside of my sleeping bag. it looks kind of like this, except a lot more shadowier + cavern-like:

when i was a kid, i rarely got sick. the few times that i did, i was proud of how i muscled thru life as usual: look i'm unstoppable, i'm so tough, nothing can slow me down. now when i get sick, my body kind of gives up + implodes into a multi-celled, jellified lump in a blanket cave. unfortunately, i'm still awake, which means my mind is still whirring + ticking. how do i calculate estimated state tax for new mexico when will they fix our leaky shower the kids need to make thank you cards for our donors i should write one too i need to tip my newspaper carrier did i pay my credit card bills yes you did that on monday i need to swiffer the floors this sleeping bag is getting stinky. clearly the solution is to install a tv in my bedroom ceiling.