the truth is

the truth is there were not that many "good ol' days"
i remember mostly bad days,
sometimes terrifying days
do you remember sitting in your parked car, darked garage, tears dripping on the steering wheel?
do you remember the night we had to stay in a hotel?
no cell phones back then- no one could find us unless we told them where we were-
so freeing
but then we went back
if i'm the only one who remembers, 
did it really happen?


the truth is i owe you everything
but knowing that truth doesn't make it less difficult for me to be with you

the truth is i grieve for you
life should not have been so painful for you, you who did everything right
but you stayed
and we stayed


the truth is there were not that many "good ol' days"
the fact that what came after was so much more horrifying than anything we'd ever expected
does not make the bad old days better